Happy Halloween!!! :3

Happy Halloween!!! i just came bck from trick-or-treating and i didnt get as much as usual, probally B/c we didnt go to the same spot as we usually go to, i just traded 2 kit-kat and 1 butterfingers 4  1 reccesse. Right now im doing hw since i coudnt hv time too. so if u wanna know wat i dressed as 4 halloween it was the rabbit from alice in wonderland. i just wore a white pants and a white shirl with a black vest and a bunny hat. i already wear glasses so i didnt need to worry about that. i really dont want to do hw so im going to the textbook and do all the others 2morrow at breakfast, i just need to go their early,... really, really, REALLY early. 2day i took giraffes headphones and i forgot to give bck to him ( SRRY GIRAFFE!!! :3 )  so i was using it on the bus on the way home. i got some really great news :3 i finally got my phone bck :3 YAY!!! the school lost it 4 more than a month now and i got it bck 2day.im really tired so  thats it 4 now. Im srry 4 all the short blogs, and the lack of being online (srry Izaya!!!) its just that im busy and stuff and doing my hw and stuff, ... and stuff, u know wat i mean :3

Change of plan :3

since im going to get my phone bck, im planing on getting his number , talk to him some more, get to know him some more, then tell him. and im srry, best friend, i fell asleep, im still tired, adn i just got mother natures gift. so im srry, ok.

2day was a very fun day -w-

today was fun. i hd a half a days 2day, i called my mom, and she said they found my phone >_< we went to her house to get some money, went to wendys, i ate 2 junior bacon cheese burgers, and then a ice-cream. ( for free!!! >_<) then avery, jamie, joshua, and ashley came and we all hanged out, then we went to 109, i was going to embarase anthony and pick him up but he left already, we met eric and stephinie asked him to drop us home, he said sure, then we walked to my house and they left, then i played gears of war: 3, it was so fun ... im watching tv roght now and i dont want to mis anything so im going to stop now,

I chickened, wimped out :'(

Giraffe touched me on my back and around my waist, he patted my head, and thats it. i met him in the lunch room,he ate a pizz in less than 1 minute!!! O.O i just cam to myfriends table( wich was were he was eating) , i trund around to see if another freind of mine was their, then i look bck and i see that he was on his last bite!!! O.O i told him he eats really REALLY fast and he said he was hungry. in gym, R pushed me to were giraffe was standing, i was really tired and not in the mood so i just sat down and hid myslf, then giraffe went and sat nex to me and patted my back, then he stand up and started patting my head, i got up couse the teacher told me too, at the end i left R b/c i had to go outside early, wen i got outside, giraffe was their, i was just in time, the door was open so we left, i was going to tell him but their was people around, so i waited, then once i got hi alone( wich was outside RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS BUS) he left T_T i really wanted to tell him , so i said wait in a low sad voice and he turned around, he HEARD me, and i was going to tell him but i was to sad and he was already in the bus and he swiped allready, so isai never mind , i was so sad, and on top of that, it was raining , it was fine, b/c it hid my face from crying. wen i was on the bus, Roen was their, a classmate from 8th grade, it was one after another wer  i met some old friends of mine , everyone seemed to hv been going to same bus as me, we started talking until it was my stop. it was still raining so then i decided i should put on my sweater. i was still so sad. once i got home, i went strait to FB and my best friend and J was their, my best friend said she hd to go to PTC so she left. so J was left, he started talking to me and we kept on talking, he gave me some good advice, he even posted a pic to show me how he looks like,but i promised my little bro to play with him, so i hd to leave. im going to try to tell him 2morrow, and i hope J's advice works . wish me luck,... whoever is reading this, but i bet not........................................... i feel as if my best friend has no time 4 me now, shes always leaving me, and if u sayd hat ur srry couse of watever , i know i knowi know your doing watever, and if u say that ur not, ... u r!!! u definitle R!!! ( im srry, im just not in the mood ok) >:(

Best Day >_< Ever !!!

2day was awsome >_< i saw giraffe during lunch but i didnt go up to him. i went to sit with my friends the next table from him and then this cute guy came and i started talking to him, his name is R and he is so CUTE >_< wen the bell rang, i left and giraffe cought up to me and started playing with my hair, i asked him if he was going to english and he ask me if i was a stalker and I WAS NOT!!! i told him that he told me that B4 and he said ' o right, i did tell u' and i said 'YEA!!!' then a friend M took me away ( we had the same class) b4 going in the gymnasium, R gave my bookbag to giraffe and he loked through it , A( bus parthner) ask y he was looking through my bag and said that their could be importanf stuff thta i woudnt want him to see and he said 'oh wat, o pad???' so easily and she said exactly O///O they forgot i was their!!! then at the end of the period,he came up to me and then he wraped his arm around me >_< but then R took him away from me ... wen i got out, i took giraffe's bookbag and looked through it, he said exactly this ' ok but if u see a condom in thier, its not mine!!!' and i just said nothing wile R was making a fuss. wile we wer going outside, R asked me y a was sad and i told her exactly this "i wanted to go out with my friend" and now wen im thinking about it, it means a whole lot of things, im wishing i didnt said it like that... then i saw them go in theri bus ( their bus is in front of the scholll wile mines is 5 blocks away) and R kept waving at me. then wen i was on the bus >_< i met a very old friend >_< weve known each other in 5th grade. wen i went up to him ( A left early couse her sister was picking her up) to talk to him, he knew my name and i was like how do u know my name??? and i asked him if this was our first time meeting and he said no, and said really, and he said we wer in elementary and its was awsome couse i was thinking of that person just e few minutes ago and i said ur the chineese huyand he asked ur the philipine girl and i was ohh yeaa , i know u, and i asked hime wat school he went to and he said francisluis and through out the wole ride we sat their in silence, couse i had noting to say, it was so cool >_< i asked him how did he remember me and he said couse my face stayed the same , i felt a little bit offensive but it was allright. . im going to see if i see him 2morrow. and 2morrow im going to confesse >_<

Today Was A Rather Odd Day

I was walking next to giraffe going to lunch but he didnt pay attention to me, he was only talking to A ( our friend, a different girl) but it was ok with me i geusse. Giraffe is really addicted to my hair, he keeps talkning how my hair os so long and i think he only likes me couse of my hair... during gym class, i was feeling sad, so i just sat their in the corner. R tried to cheer me up but i was still sad. then gireffe came and he started pinching my cheeks , then he gave me a cookie (well i asked  4 it) i smiled but hten wen he left i hid it. the rest of the period i just sat and curled myself hidding my face... R said she had to go somewer reall quick so she left, then i felt somepoke me and i felt their breath... i though it was R so i looked up and i just say giraffe their and his friends, so ust went bck to position. i wanted to wait 4 him outside the gym class but then my bus partner pulled me away so i didnt get a chance to see him. today i got 3 cookies :3 my brother pissed me off so i slammed the door, then my mom came in and said to stop slaming doors and stuff so i slamed the door on her face, she got mad at me couse i hit her face, but i didnt care, i was so sad and hungry, but i was to lazy to cook ramen so i just grab some ice-cream. my horoscope said to day would be a great day and that my lucky time of day is 8pm so im waiting 4 8pm so see wats going to happen. today i did my hair in a side braid and everyone complimented me on my hair

Was It A >_< Hug ???

R was asking questions with giraffe on friday asking like y did he hugged me and stuff like that. so i made R tell me wat he said and he said that he wasnt looking for a GF and he hugged me couse he was bored and thats all that i cracked from R. After gym, R was chasing me so then giraffe grabed me and was like hugging me from the back >_< i coudnt hold my coolness so i started smiling alot. wen the bell rand R told giraffe to hold me and her bookbag and so he did >_< i wasnt sure if i shouldve stoped it or just let him hold it. so i told R that my mom wanted to cut my hair and then giraffe yelled out NNNNOOOOO >_<  R started laughing and i ws just like watever ( trying to keep my coolness meaning trying to hide that i had felings 4 him) i really want to confess to him now, u know just to let him know, ... but it has to wait till friday :( R tough i was going to ask him out but i dont want that, i dont want to hv a bf that deosnt love me more than i love him , im just going to tell him how i feel, im trying hard to hold it in but its not working, i was alone with him for like a minute and i was thinking that i should just confess their , but then i remembered wat me and my best friend was talking about, so then i didnt ...  wen R was chasing me she pulledhair by acident instead of my arm and giraffe was thier to confort me >_< it really hurted and i cant tell weter i should be happy or mad, lol. wen i was washing the dishes ( part of my chore, its to wash the dishes 4 dinner) my mom asked me if i wanted icream so i said yes and sho got it, then wen i washes my hands to eat it, .... she took it in the living room and started eating it, so wen i finished eating, i wnt in the living room to ask her wers my icecream and she said she didnt know that i wanted icream, and i told her that she was the one who asked me if i wanted icream so she just saind to get icream if i wanted and i was i did wanted, so i just went to get the icecream. ....ugh i hv so many hw!!!

Now I JUst Want To Tell Giraffe How I Feal

Little by little i fall 4 in love even more as each day pass and thats going to be the same amount of sadness when i get rejected. i know he wont feel the same as me but i just want to tell him.... today i say him in the hallway 2 times. the first time, a guy was holding on to my bookbag and the second time i saw him gave a HUGE hug to a girl ( a friend of mine).  It hurts to see the one u love doing that special thing u thought was ment only 4 u do it to another person. Today in gym, he gave me a hug >///< i was so happy but i kept my cool. wile we wer jogging , he touched me and said ur it and ran, so i started chasing him , he was too fast so i lost. the teacher was puting a face saying "wat r u doing???' . wile i was getting a sip of water, he splashed water on me and ran, so i started chasing him, and again he was too fast, so i gave up, i really wasnt going to splash water on him couse i didnt want to be mean. then he went up to me and said he was srry and said i can get bck at him but i didnt want to. All the little things that he does, i keep falling 4 him even more. and it probally deosnt mean a thing to him.... i want to tell him so i can stop getting my hopes up on him and then get really hurt in the end and i dont want people saying " i told u it wasnt meant to be' at my face, so ill ask my friend if we can confesse to our lovers on monday.... i dont know wat to do anymore.....im all sad now..... T_T

2day i was depressed..... and my back HURTS

yesterday, i left my textbook that was worht $80, so i was really nervouse couse wat if i coudnt find it, but i found it, thank god, so i was carying the big, heavy textbook around everywer till 6:00pm...... i want my phone bck so badly........ i saw giraffe IN the library, but he didnt talk too much. 2 morrow im going 2 hv 2 test. in gym we had new asighned seats and we had to practice the pacter test. we formed in three groups and my group won out of the girls. my friend R keeps on shaping her hand as a heart wenever i go and tag her 4 her turn couse girafe was running next to me. but i really didnt care 4 some reason. i was so sad..... so... depressed..... then i saw him patted another girls head and 4 some reason that cought my atention out of the whole day today and that just made me even more sadder.yea im here R knew i was sad so she tried to make me happy by trying to make giraffe to be alone with me i cant be mad at her couse shes trying to be a good friend. R keeps on trying to get us alone but it didnt work. R kept on saying how he isnt usually talkative 2day and how he keeps keeping his distance. i was thinking to myself that probally he knows and he deosnt feel the same way as me. so yea.......wenever i get sad, i just want to eat, so right now im eating so much and im trying to stop couse then my 2 whole month of exersicing and jogging will go to waste.......i just cant keep it in anymore,.......... i just feel so ......... sad,  .............. so ...............depresed......................................................

This is what happened YESTERDAY

It was a half-day 4 scul and i didnt liked it B/C  we cant go to our last period :(  (its b/c of giraffe [ giraffe is S] ) so i was looking 4 him at the end of lunch but i went out to early....... so then i went to my other halfs (bestfriend)house. all i did wat looked at 2 how to draw books, ate a pice of bread, and 2 otmean cookies. oh and also my other half gave me advice. and thats all. oh and my other halfs sensei called and we spoke. As he was cursing i was thinking and they both though i was afraid. but i wasnt. i was just thinking of something. that something was how i looked in front of my freinds , how nobody liked the real me, how olmost everyone liked my many mask and other stuff to. i was sad and i coudnt hold it in anymore so wile she wasnt looking , i cried...... -_-

Confused about S

Am i going crazy??? so this is what u need to know: the lunchroom is on the first floor and the English class is across from it, the library is on the second floor and my L.E. class is on the third floor. I always go to the library during lunch time and S is in lunch. So wen the bell rings, I see S outside the library but the thing S has english after lunch. So y is S in the second floor wen he has english and its across the lunchroom???  can some1 explain this??? am i really going crazy???.........................................................  So after i went outside the library i saw S, i was holding a pencil so i stuggle to put it in my bag, and i turned around, S was right behind me and he said 'y did u turned around, i was going to scare u or tickle ' and i said ( which was true) 'idk' , and we talked about something but i forgot wat it was. Then in gym class, their was a person i knew next to S and i said hi to her and S said ' oh and i dont get a hi?' and i said ' oh,-_- . .. hi :D' . i really like my outfit today, its really awsome. and watim wearing 4 my necklace ( 'Best Friend' penguin mood necklace) and my earings ( new earing i just bought).  during the changing of the periods, i was so shoked and skipped a beat couse i saw S after talking to a friend O.O  i like turned and BAM he was thier , in front of me, i got scared.  and in class, i corrected i guy i think and he turned around with his had in front and i got got so scared that i almost fell of my chair , ( dont laugh) and he only wanted a handshake,..... a HANDSHAKE!!!! so i got scared over a handshake!!! do u know how much people was laughing at me,      so yea, im kinda down couse nobody patted my head :( . 4 many girls, they dont like it wen poeple touch their hair but its not 4 me , in fact i do the complete reaction, ( but it depends on who it is, like if a adult all of a sudden pated my head and i dont know him, ill be f*cki=*ng scared , but if it was like someone around my age and regardless weter i know him or not, i get happy,    i like peing petted like a dog, idk y , i just do). this week and next week i hv so many test coming up   T_T

Happy about 'S' but sad couse i hv so much hw

i got hw 4 all my classes except 4 gym and lunch, so in all its 7 hw. in gym, i did 100 laps in the pacer test. too bad its only a practice one :( , but its cool anyway. 'S' was pinching my sheeks >_< and saying that my face is so soft >_< and then he kept patting my head >_< . i really like it when guys deos that ( depends on who it is ) My friend 'R' keeps telling me that she thinks that 'S' likes me but i doupt that, so what she did was she told 'S' to help me find room 151 4 me and he did, but nobody was in their so i coudnt get bck what belongs to me, she even said that she lost it and that she tried to look4 it but could find it :( . so then 'S' and i wen bck, their was this awfull silence so i just asked ( dont laugh couse its stupid) 2 see his sweater... ya stupid, i didnt know what to talk about and i was panicking, so ya i just said that. i lift the sweater up and said that it was huge, then gave it back. then all the kids went in and we got seperated :( so i coudnt see him  off. his bus comes first b4 mine. 2nd period, he hit my head with ( i think) his wallet and said ' you iphone stealer', then during between the end of 8th and the begining of 9 period he patted my head, then in the end of 11th period ,b4 my friend tricked me, he put his hand on my head and i was holding his hand 4 quite some time >_< . theirs this other guy, he always pats my head b4 going to our 10th class, i really like when people pats my head. >_<    oh and during in gym class, he wanted a hug. well this is what happened, the teacher said 4 everyone to go at the back of the gym and we did, then he went and said 'hi jesssica' and then he somewhat opened his arms. i said ' hi' and their was a little silence. then he said ' i wasking 4 a hug' and then my friend 'R' started laughing and i said ' oh, srry,' i went closer but then the teacher blowed her whistle , so i wanst able to give him a hug :( ,   but still   >_<

ugh!!! i hate nuts!!! XP

 my dads mom keeps giving me nuts, i hate nuts. yuck .  i want to see 'S', i cant wait 4 2morrow. this is the longest weekend ~EVER~!!! i dont want to go to music class 2morrow, some1 plssave me!!!! 

O_o *panthing*, i thought it only happens in movies!!!

i say my ring on my necklace then it reminded of 'S'. he touched the ring and asked me if i were a ring, i said 'yea, when i was little'. then all of a sudded my hearth skiped a beat stated beating faster ............ i coudnt  belive that a moment liked this would happened to me., i though it only happens i movies,

I know i shoudnt be but i just am

watching Law&Order. all i want is to see 'S'. i promised myself that i woudnt fall in love till i finish school but i broke it. i dont know wat to do. i cant wait to see 'S' but theirs nothing worse than this feeling seeing the one u love... love someone else. this is all that i want to talk about but the world doesnt revolve around me, so i dont want to bother anyone. i want to tell him and know if he actually likes someone or not and to know how he feels about me, but if it means that he doesnt feel the same and then he avoids me, i dont want that, and plus i still want to know him some more, so ill wait 4 a while..... im still so confuse about my feelings, i just dont know what to do, but every time i think im waisting time, ... im so clueless. i wish i was smart, really smart, couse my problem with 'S' is not the only thing im woring about, theirs also my education. i think im failing, im trying to get a scholarship, im so tired, i hv so many hw and theirs so little time. i get little sleep, and im really tired. Seeing 'S' makes my hearth beet faster and makes me smille, he makes me lose all my wories in life. im not sure if thats a bad thing or not, so if u know please tell me. and every little thing that 'S' or anyone does, i think much and big of it and get the wrong idea. but it makes me happy. i dont hv anyone to talk about this and ask 4 advice. their is one peorson, but i dont want to bother her and she also hv a life, many problems shes facing herself.

I didnt want to admit this but its true T_T

Im soaking wet, and im so sad. Thier are many reasons but one of the main one is this: 'S' likes 'k'. i already knew it, but i just didnt want to admit it to myself. but now i am :( . 'S' did something im not sure wat i should think of it. my bro missed the mail guy, so i didnt get my package today. i was looking forward to it.  i wan to tell some1, but no1 cares, thier all to busy. and im having this feeling again... i judt dont know what 2 do anymore................................................................................................................. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I keep getting this weird feeling

i got so much homework!!! and still doing it right now. today was interesting, 'S' poked my stomach. then put his earphone on me. the song was awsome so im lisineng to it right now. had wendys and it was amazing. just wish i didnt hv to do all this hw in the end. the weird feeling keep coming back. but im used to it, iv hade it for more than 10 years.

Today was a great day :3 but somehow lonely :(

today was a day wer the older kids r taking their PSAT or watever its called, so my grade is going to a half-a-day and we hd to stay in the auditorium and gym. the guy i liked went to the aud with me and we hd fun ( well i hd fun, im not sure about him). we wer talking about if someone had blossomed our cherry tree. we wer both V and he has kissed a girl already. ive nown him like 2-3 weeks so far and  hes pretty cool. hes really taller the me, and his hands r bigger than mine, we listen to his music. my friends wer their with us so  i coudnt really do much. he started playing with my hair and ask how long my hair was so i took my clip off. he said he really like long hair and continue to play with my hair, i was fine with so i let him continue. hes a really cool artist, wenever i ask to see his drawing binder he says no, i like his drawings, i saw one at school that he drew. its really awsome , :3 , so then w hd to go. wen i was at gym changing, my friend that was next to me at the aud thinks that he likes me, but i doupt that, i think he likes someone else. i tried to call me bestfriend but i coudnt borrow a phone :( . now for some reason i feel all empty, depresse, sad, lonely. idk y but i just do. :(

Im in so much PAIN!!!!!

i forgot to give the last page 4 my lab station, i didnt do 1 hw, my stomach is in pain and agony, me theeth is in pain and agony , i just witness a pedifile in action O.o . the guy came up to us and stated talking so much, then he asked if we wanted to see selena gomez in action and we ( i was with 2 other friends) was like 'wat???', 'who are u???', 'wat r u talking about???' , 'do u know him???' so then he looked confused and pulled my friends shirt down ( she was wearing a blouse and a sweater),  and ran O.o . so then we wer scared and calling ut 'pedifile!!!' as me and me friend cover my other friend to put back her shirt. scarry right ( not really 4 most f u right,) but to us it was. so then we went to dunkin donuts, i bought my family donuts too, but wen i came home nobody wanted the donuts axept my bro. so i hd to eat the rest of the donuts.  i just orderd something and im so exited to recive it >_< ,    oh and again................... OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!      MY TEETH HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HHUURRTTSS!!!!!!!!!!!! SO BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(   >o<     OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

i had fun over the weekend and columbus day

yesterday, sunday, i went to adventure land and today i went to alley pond park, and on saturday i went to a farm to look at pumkins and animals and ate some really good corn. i had so much fun. to bad i hv to go bck home and go to school tomorow :(

I cant want to go pumkin picking

bestfriend probaly thougt that i bailed on her last night :( but i didnt, my uncle was yelling at me and coudnt go online :( srry.  im going pumkin picking soon and i cant wait. this is my second time. :)

I want to meet my soulmate!!!!!!!!!!!

im living in misery!!!!! Im way over my weight goal by 3 pounds, homework sucks!!! i hate doing work, and i want to meet my soulmate!!!! real badly!!! :( :( :( :( :(

Back to school and sooooooo many hw!!! ugh

i have 7 SEVEN homeworks. hs is tuff. im just chatting to bestfriend will doing my homework. yesterday i went to my godsister's babtism.

coudn't go out with friends

Tuesday, wednesday,thursday, and friday i coudnt go out with my friends so i was stuck inside the house all day. Friday night, everyone yelled at me for very stupid reasons, i started crying but i tried to stop, i didnt want them to know and i coudnt find a quiet place to cry so i held it in. i tried to go online last night but the internet wasnt working. im at my dads house and theirs no food here!! literally, i just ate 6 wafles and still hungry, its also a dump here!!!! i cant wait to stop going to my dads house. everyone keeps telling me that im selfish, meam, only think about myself, embaresing to be seen with, stupid, an idiot, puts an atitude with everything, have anger issuses, and much more. i dont fight bck saying that im not B/C i kow i cant change their minds, i dont want to deal with them and i dont want to anger them some more.i cant wait to go home at my moms house.

Watching Sungha Jung instead of studying

Started of video chatting with 'BestFriend' but then i lost the internet connection to log back in so now i have to study but i don't like studying , today they scanned my school so my phone got taken away, i had 3 test today and two tomorrow , 'BestFriend' bailed on me today to meet up and jog :( , so then it hit me to go on youtube and listen to Sungha Jung. Listening to people whome i like( which is rare) always puts a smile on my face :)

Got my promise :)

hate going to my religise class, dont like the teacher, didnt do my homework 4 the class, now must write a prayer 20 time or i get a phonecall to my mom, uhg so anoying, now at the house wer the party was sopose to be, hvnt seen a friend in a long time, so thirsty and hungry, feel dirty, want to take a shower :(

So disapointment :(

i was promised to go to a party, got my hopes up, now im all disapointment. Keep forgeting my rules... :( :'( .... ill just watch my drama...... :( :'(

Bored at Dad's House

Like the title says...... i'm bored at dad's house..... Just watching Jessie ..... got nothing so say.... oh but this, THANX 4 MAKING THIS BESTI >_<....