^w^ SHHOOOO HAPPY

AUGUST 25, 2012

soo~... Giraffe came to my aunts party, and i was really happy... not sure if he had a great time like i did.. ... i think my family like him.. they were joking around with him, so i guess thats a good thing instead of ???dissaproving and ..not like him???  .... i dont know... ...sooo~.... ..... Skyla had one of those moody times and stuff(??? ) and i understand how she feels because i used to feel like that too.. but still.. she shoudnt say things like "ill  kill you" because she deosnt have it her way... shes becoming more spoiled and a brat even more............ and im to blame... im sorry... im such a bad influence....... ..........   .......... i didnt have as much fun as i thought i would have...

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AUGUST 26, 2012

Ive always wanted to go out on a sunday, especially to go see Giraffe. And it happened ^v^ .  I had a great time today.. i just wanted to spend more time with him.. ... So i asked my mom if we were still going to go to the city tomorrow and she said maybe, usually that means no so i was kinda bumed out about that. But then i asked her again during dinner and she said yes ^v^ yay... soooooo~..... 

Ummm.. yea...

BLEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! x( ........... i only thought of what happened last night, i felt sad. ................. so i whent to the dentist and found out that i have another cavity(is that how you spell it???) it wasnt shocking. ............i was supposed to go walk with my friend, which i did, but i barley said anything.... i felt bad for that, im sorry, ... i coudnt stop thinking....... got home and i was tired, decided to take a nap but instead just had a chat with Giraffe... i liked talking like that, it was fun.... ................... ..................... sometimes i get scared to tell my mom thank you or i love you or wutever... kinda sad.... i dont know why... but yea... just am............................ .................................... i really want those things to just die or go away .....

Why do I have to be like this?

had a horrible night/morning?.. i dont know... i was so scared last night that i coudnt sleep till around 12, and then something woke me up at around 5... sometimes i get a feeling, a feeling where im scared.. but i dont know what im scared of... i dont know :p...................... so i basically just watched Pretty Little Liars today. Took a walk with NaNa today. I had fun. It was funny, hot, sweaty, and fun. Having that talk with her. I felt sumwat relive. To finally tell someone. I know i have many people to talk to, .. but its just that i.. dont really trust them that much. .. I want to tell Giraffe, but it just feels like.. im bothering him.. and its kinda stupid... but.. i dont know... its just bothering me for quite some time..... i guess this was the reason on why i think of ........ bad thoughts, look down on, i dont know... ..... BLEHHHHH!!!! xP ...................................................... so mom came home with a whole lot of junk food, why is it that she always brings the kind of food that im craving for at the wrong time?, ... so i told her that sometimes when i talk to her, it feels like she deosnt want to talk to me, pushes me away, and said that its because theirs alot of people wanting to talk to her? shes busy? but wutever, i get it, i understand.. but she could have at least tell me that instead of pushing me away, that just hurts the most.......
why is it that everytime someone ask me if im okay, i just start to... cry.... .............. all i have to say is that i love music....................

Grey, Black, and White!!!

i went to see the statue of liberty for the first time today with giraffe and his family. seeing the..?deck? reminded me of the last time i went their. the last time was........ .........lonely.......... . but today i had fun, i liked it. the clouds was okay, pretty cool. i loved the wind blowing on me, its the reason why i stand up the whole ride, but i felt sad that i didnt sumwat really spend time with giraffe... i was kinda expecting to smell the salt from the water, the sea salt, salty sea, salty water...... xD i had fun with his family, hahaha, so many pictures was taken. i never took so many pictures with my family in one day. ...................... i was scared to walk from the bus stop to my house so i had to keep talking to NaNa.when i got home it was so dark and quiet, it seemed as if no one was home, i got even more scared but kinda happy but sad..... if that made any sense. .... ...... even thou i had a great time today, at the end of the day, i felt all ...................lonely......... empty..........scared..........sad............ i dont know........................................ i keep getting this weird feeling..... i dont know how to explain it,.. or define it ..or tell it ..or wutever! i just dont know........................ sometimes,.... i dont feel like myself.......... its weird............. i dont know what to do...... ....... this isnt the first time this happened to me, ... its been coming and going recently and alot............. ............... i really dont know................  ......... today was awesome ,.. thats all i have to say.........

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