October 9? 2013

It's been a wile. I know. But, it's just that this place sucks. Ugh, weird.
Anyways, right now I'm waiting for this stupid laptop to work. I just finished typing up my essay that was due on Monday, but I didn't give it in x< I need to keep up my grades! So this laptop is meh bros, and apparently he downloaded a whole bunch of junk because it's really really really slow. Trying to print it.
A lot happened.
Haha! Your not up to date!
But it's wateve's. I don't really care, but this is to improve.. Whatever it is that it's trying to improve.
Today I only went to three of my classes, lunch and then skipped the rest of the day with V. I wonder if she's doing alright in school. I hope she's not getting bad grades or lack of sleep bc we hang out after school... :/ I don't know...
I wanted to skip yesterday, but Sam-I-Am was... Idk, he got me to go to school.
I just can't keep up with school anymore, theirs too many work to be done, and I can't keep track and handle it all together. I just want a break you know? I guess today was that break. I seriously need to take school seriously, get my stuff straighter out, and do my work. I heard that junior year is the most important year because this is the year that colleges wi be looking at. But the thing is that I don't even know what I want to manly in, what collage to go to, and etc. it just feels so out their you know? Like it's far in the future, don't worry, or it's okay, just wing it, or,... That I might not even make it to the future. Idk, it's weird but yeah, that's why I don't really take school seriously because I feel like that I won't even have a future and that if I worry about school, I'll just be wasting my time, when I could be doing something else. But I know that nothing will happen so...

This is it for now... I'll continue, Later, when I'm not lazy, have time, or feel like it.

I feel... Nothing...

Nothing, nothing at all...
So.. Emotionless. ...
So.. Heartless...

MAKE THAT FROWN UP.SIDE.DOWN.!!!!!!!!!!

I.. Don't know why but I just and and I just do... I feel all FREAWKING and shet. I mean like, out of fudging nowhere I just started to cry. ... This was few mins ago. I don't know why but I just do. I don't know why I'm all.. Sad and stuff.. I dont know why. I should be happy and not freaking care about anything and just .. Enjoy... Life... And stuff.. You know..... THEIRS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!!! WHAT THE HECK man?!? Like fuge, UGH!! I'm not gonna say what I did for the past.. Whatever,.. Too lazy and ?tired? And ?sad? IDK MAN!!! Idk!! I don know
I don't know
I don't know anything.... I don't... I really don't....
...whoop... For music... For always being their, I can always blast music through my headphones when I'm all down and shet
Whoop.. For these sad and depressing fudging music.
For making me more fishing sader
But happy music just.. Is.. All.. Ugh man
You know? No? Well too bad,..... BYE.!!!!

MILK. IS. DISGUSTING. xP

I'm thinking of doing a... One of these thingies you call each night... I mean this IS suppose to only record what I did each day bc MY MEMORY SKILL S.U.C.K.S. the title of this thingy is unrelated to what I'm gonna say though hahaha. So yesterday.. Damn. I forgot what happened after I posted the thingy... Uhm, I played jut dance, had three apple, wanted more but I was told not to eat anymore bc they were going to make a shake out of it the next day (which is today) ugh, I forgot, but I found out that at night I got my monthly gift from Mother Nature..... And I was... ... Not nice hahaha, the tiredness and the "." Made me .. I guess cranky, I was.. Text cursing(T.C.) to my friend and my gf ugh, I suck, I Coudnt find any pads and the women of the house wasn't home... So I... Ugh.. Searches and T.C. Some more ... Annoying. I was annoying. So.. I ended up asking my cousins ... I didn't think they would know what it was BUT THE DOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... But it was a panty liner and a tampon (yeah, I don't care if this is a totally T.M.I. Nobody was suppose to actually read these but me... So like yeah deal with it if their is actually someone reading HAHAHA) so I had to use it... But it's usually heavy, my "." And... They were... Not that supportive lol. I found out why I ate so much on Wednesday now, I always eat alot before I have my "." That's how I know it's coming, but I tend to control myself (see! I can control myself.... (¬_¬) sometimes...) so, today, Friday (hahahahahahaha I keep thinking today is Thursday, I even wrote Thursday instead of Friday, I I deleted it... I know I'm not suppose to delete and go backwards... But.. Shhh) so I woke up this morning, I kept waking up then going to sleep haha, someone from MI called (don't know what that means, asked my gf, forgot what she said.. See? Bad memory here) didnt pick up, was asleep during the call) the little one tried to put her arm around me and pull me close to her but I'm big for her so it was kinda hard haha it was SOOO cute, so I turned around and hugged her as tight as I can but not too tight bc I didn't want to suffocate her, and sleep, her hair was all in my business, it was all up in meh face!! It was hard to text haha, I was thinking of texting to my BESTFEIEND but I was sleepy, and I didn't want to be only texting her sometimes from time to time and I heard the day before that she made plans with someone, so.. Yeah.. We woke up, went to use the bathroom, ate bread with Nutella, was still hungry after so I ate some grapes, then we went to hang out in the living room a bit and then brushed our teeth and wash our face, we usually do it before we eat breakfast and after we wake up but the big one asked when we woke up if we can eat first and then wash up and I replied with a sure, try new things you know? Switch things up around a bit, but it won't stay like that forever, just try it for once lol, so we then hanged around the dining room bc the mom was making lunch, we played this game, and we ALL was really into the game haha, it's called hardest game 2, we ate fried it crunchy chicken (I think) wings (had five) ate it with duck sauce, then had dough boy, it was really hard...so when my cousin said you can't keep it bc it goes bad the next day, she was true... After we were done, they asked to go okay outside, but I became unsure bc the dad said it was really hot outside... And I don't really like the heat that much.. Makes me cranky.... So I asked them what we were going to do outside actually, the big one said ride her bike and the little one said play ball ( she really likes her bouncy ball, she even brought it to NY and kept telling me to play ball with her, she's like my bro... He used to, not sure if he still does, like bouncy balls and had a whole bunch of collection of it, these cousins are like a mini version of me and my bro, .. I guess we hanged out with them alot that they copied how we acted and started to become something really similar) the parents then said to go play with the water in the backyard and we did, we played with the hose (a whole bunch of stuff happened but it's not something I can explain bc it's mostly in my head, meaning I had thought about some stuff, I tried to stop thinking bc.. It made me unhappy, and I don't like it when I'm unhappy.. I mean like, seriously, why be all down and stuff, just be happy and enjoy your life, life is short and like.. Yeah.. I found out that thinking made me unhappy from my previous relationship... I was constantly thinking about MANY things and it made me al down and stuff , I was so .. Serious and Stuf haha, I was constantly worried and afraid and I Coudnt really enjoy myself as much, so after that, after I have done alot of thinking after the breakup, I tried to stop thinking about many stuff, and just finally have some natural fun hahahaha ) at first I wasn't enjoying myself as much... I was worried... Ugh, maybe bc I didn't wan to get dirty? Idk, maybe... But then I did some thinking and ... Just led go of myself and had fun, we made a water slide, we played save me, it's where you have to try to clime up the wet and slippery slide and you can't touch the ground slash grass bc it's lava, we made it rain haha, we did alot of stuff, we had fun. After that, we came inside, we was about to hange but the mom asked if we wanted to go play outside still and we said yes so we went outside, my cousins took their bike and I took my uncle's skateboard, I wanted to practice skateboarding, I still suck haha, we then went over to hang out inside neighbor slash friends pool, we had SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun, we tried to wrestle in the water, they tried to wrestle, I just tried to drown them, we played volleyball in the water with the beach ball that has a hole in it, we ten tried to hit each other with the ball , we did Alot of stuff haha , It was fun,we were told to come back inside at 6:30 so we left but the dad said 7 so we went back to the pool haha, had alot of fun too, we then went back to the house and took a shower right away, after we showered, we ate dinner, dinne was pizza with  brocoli toppings, ate half a corn and UGH! Drank milk... But it was strawberry milk so I ... Sigh... Drank all of it, my cousin made it for me, when I took a sip, I tasted ALOT like milk and a LITTLE bit of strawberry milk, so I took the powder mix thingy and dumped about ten or more spoons... If I'm drinking milk, it CAN'T taste like milk.. Otherwise I will not drink it, I DONT LIKE MILK... AT ALL... It's good that my cousins like milk, it's really good, I thought they would copy me like always and not drink it but they really like it which is really really good. Went I watch Mullan, then Mullan 2. Then we had dessert which was ice cream sandwich and then we had smoothie, not too proud of eating the icecream... ... ... Then we played just dance... It. Was. A . Bad. Idea.. Bc I stained EVERYTHING... Ugh, this is when the heavyness of my "." Come in.. I had to wear my swimming shorts bc I didn't have anymore pj left, it's in the laundry machine thingy... I had to wash... But I didn't fully wash it... Ugh, I just can't, too much work man... Too much... After that, I kinda wanted to draw

ANOTHER UP TO DATE

Okay, I'm going to guess the last time I talked about something was on Sunday? I don't know, I don't even know what I just said and what It means. So I'll start on Monday. Monday... Monday Monday Monday, I... Yeah, (trying to recall my memories lol so bear with me) so we went to ikea. Took about  2-3-4 hours or so,  I don't really know, didnt keep track, I just know that it was a VERY long ride. Went To pick some other people up, then webt to ikea. When we got their, we just looked around, took too long and my cousins got hungry so the dad went to take us to the half point where you eat and stuff (sorry for my weird .. Can you even call it a language? Hahaha I don't know I .. Make perfect sense hahaa, I'm hanging out with my cousins, kinda watching a movie something about Atlantis and someone returning now, so.. like.. yeah...) so we ate, first time I had crab? Or lobster salad, it was okay (everything's okay haha sure wutever I don't know) watched despicable me the first movie, I want to watch the second movie :/ the rest met up with us and ate, continued with the shopping, gave the little one a piggy back, I miss my stuffed carrot lol it was so cute and all, I ate it hahaha JK about both stuff, just playing around, so we stayed on top of a show bed, waiting for them, they took long to come back and left but they were their web we left haha so like.. I don't know.. Looked around some more, more piggybacks, played hide and go seek, I hid behind those showy rugs, haha they ended up buying it, one of the had to pee so we went to the beginning of the first floor,  where the eating place was but then they were like oh, theirs a bathroom at the end so we turned around and ran to the end, she pee, we went back, didnt do anything fun after, I just stood close by the cart, I was in cart duty haha boring, when we went to the end where you go look fit the stuff to buy, we all took turns riding and pushing the cart? It was fun, until someone hit something?? Or maybe they needed to put stuff in it, I don't know. We went to buy, went back to drop of the othe people,  went inside the house, tried to whistle back to the bird, it whistled back to my little cousin bc she could whistle and she's really better and good than me, I looked around the house a bit ( I'm a nosy person) and left, the house is big and spacy lol , went outside, the little one found this huge ant and just picked it up like that lol what te heck, she got more guts than me... I'm a wuss hahahaha , went in the car, got KFC, went back to the house, ate, and I don't remember after that.. At all.. Damn.... I think we took a shower, yeah, and did stuff, ugh I don't remember, I helped set up the new couch beds,  I VC with my gf <3, my cousin were hogging up the cam. Tuesday... Once I woke up, we washed up and left, had a bacon eggs mad cheese at DD For breakfast, then went to china town in Boston. Picked up some other people, went grocery to two stores, then went to BJ and went to the house their in B. dropped off the grocery then went to dim sum. Tongue got burned from the scorching hot tea, then ate each one they ordered. Had chiken feet for the first time... It was... Okay lol. Then went back to the house in B. we got bored so we played hide and go seek. GIT bored again so we went to go do some more boring stuff but instead we went downstairs, we stayed in the bedroom, we tried to do wipe out on the bed and it looked more like they got caught by the police lol, they ate, I didn't, was still full from the thingy, then went upstairs to eat some snacks that we snook from the car. After we were done, I got bored and starte to do a quick sketch, had to draw in pen bc it was the ONLY thing to draw with, what the heck, soon, some other people came and we played, we ran, played cops and robbers, then watched mr bean, then we exercised, we ate dinner, then A LOT  more people came, we ate, my cousins and I went upstairs, we played more, soon we left to go back in RI. Then we VC more with my gf, sleep. Wednesday. Woke up, washed up, eat three bowls of cereal, ALOT of dumplings then went to te beach, took about an hour and a half to get their, then played, we tried to make sand castles, a volcano, a hot tube, a pond, a pool, a damn, played in the water for SOOOOOOOOO long, got sand and seaweed in many places lol, their was so many bugs, small crabs in the water and the sand, the beach was REALLY REALLY REALLY SALTY. We had dough boy, went to another restaurant they ate raw something, went to another store, ate fried seafood, fries, chiken tenders, fried clam, fried ... Alot of food, I have eaten ALOT AND WHEN I SAY ALOT, I mean ALOT OF FOOD. Went back to the house, and VC with my gf <3 they made me play just dance, and Venus was watching the whole time lol, I VC with her till around 2-3 am haha , today, Thursday. Woke up, face times one of my friend, she's my best friend , then at 11, I washed up, and ate pop tarts, I was still face timing her, it's fun, then she left to go hang out with some fiends, I went to go rollerblade after and then took it off bc it was hurting my feet, it was asmall on me, then I went to a pool!!! Stayed their for a wile, from 1or2-5 then got home, ate dinner( my dinner was two bread with Nutella, and mangos, and then went to watch a movie (mentioned in the beginning) then starte to play just dance, playing now hahaha, so inns go leave now , bye!!!

Repeats,

Eh.. I'm just going to TRY to explain each day.. Starting from Wednesday night slash Thursday morning. ... So this is kinda a repeat but just an in depth of the last post... I was tired okay? Sorry -__- . Okay so me and my cousin went to my house and stayed for the night. We were going to the movies and my mum was taking us. She wanted to go to the early time bc it's suppose to be cheaper than the day time movies. So she kept making me mad.. But I guess it was my fault... For being so moody.. And for making a deal out of everything.. I'm going to try to change that now.. So I stayed in t dark room the whole night. My cousins soon came in to sleep. My mum came in too but I got.. Angry and she left... IM SORRY x( ugh... So the three of us slept sideways on my small bed. My room was HOT as fuge, and the AC was ON!! What the heck!?! It was a hard choice choosing which person I should sleep next to, one snores and the other was a bed hogger lol, but I'm a bed hogger too and the one who snores said this was going to be hard to sleep with us LOL. So I slept besides the bed hogger , mostly bc I was already at the side and she went next to me first. .. I guess.. So I was falling asleep wile I was texting my girlfriend and telling my cousins to FALL ALSEEP, bc they kept moving and talking and shouldn't sleep. So I told one of them that if she sleeps late, she can't be cranky in the morning, can't tell if that worked but they feel asleep later on. Once they were fully alseep, I.. Was awake.. Lol, so I just text my girlfriend until she fell asleep. She had an ag thingy program to go to in the morning. So like yeah... (I don't know where this is going... LOL) so, after she fell asleep, I went and read my friends blogger. It was mostly about her bf... They have a long distant relationship. Soon, it started to talk about me... I got sad... Bc I realized that I was a bad friend to her... And we were supposively  be "best friends" ... :/ ...so I started to text to her... We ended up texting for the whole night lol, IT. WAS. FUN. LOL, I don't know how, I guess it's bc the night brings out the inner you LOL I don't know. So I tried to stay up to talk to my gf in the morning when she wakes up, .. But I ended up falling asleep when she woke up.. Didn't even get to talk, ugh, my friend fell asleep, and now.. I had nothing to do and boom, I slept... So I woke up, and got ready for the movie, we left, we went to the movie theater. That's where I met my friend lol, the one I was talking all night with. She tried to ignore me :( ... I don't know why.. Maybe bc my mum hates her guts? So we watched the movie. It was pretty good. We were suppose to go for dimpsum with my aunt bc it was going to be her bday gift, but she was at work.. We then went to pick up my Lola and went to I.O.G. We went back to my Lola's house, stayed their to kill time, drew a mustache on the little one, went to my school. Met one of my friend, she left, the little on was scared that my gf would hate her, especially with the mustache so we went to clean it off, we met up with my gf, mum tried to look for my bro, I head my mum have my girlfriend "the look", mum left, the little on wanted to stay with me and my gf, mum said no, they went to find my bro, went to my gf's house, she took a shower, she said my face looked a bit thinner? haha, i dont see it, it looksthe same, told me to eat more but i am, we "cuddled", we were suppose to go shopping but she was exhausted to go shopping so we stayed home, I didn't want to leave, but I had to, left late, went home late, the little one went to greet me right away. Ate one.. And a half? Cookies, had a bit of rice and a bit of lumpia, knocked out right away, hadn't slept that much, I heard my cousins cried at night and is now going to leave on Wednesday instead of Friday. Stayed home,got bored, made angels, walked to McDonald, they ate, I don't like McDonald so I didn't eat anything. Played for a bit, went to one of my Lola's majong places, got moody, got mad at her, I feel bad, first time that happened, I'm sorry... Went to play in the playground across the street, it was still raining, git hungry, went to subway, their wasn't anything else, got I think it was called a chicken parmasion, my cousin ordered it, payed, went to the train station to fill up my metro card, walked back to the house, ate, watched tv, got bored, we became camera whores lol, took sooooo much photo, aunt picked us up, got stoped off my house, packed, didn't realize I lost 12$, tried to look for it, mum found two $ only, lost 10$ now, GREAT, I keep loosing my money, ugh, not good, I need a wallet, texted my gf and my other friend, said I should draw for my friends bday, drew stuff about Nutella, didnt fall asleep till five something, I get distracted alot, and I didn't know what to draw, woke up, finished the drawing, took a shower, cooked ramen, bro and my gf was hungry, went to mail something ( mum asked me to), walked back, saw my gf outside, went in, I finished making ramen, it was tasteless since I made it soupy, bro hated it, went to "cuddle", went to Jamaica, walked to my friends (J-J or personal human diary) house ( the one who told me I should draw his gf a drawing) met his mom, bro (howdy, I call him howdy) and his pet, a cat and a HUSKY!!! Watched them play mine craft and kingdom hearts, walked to the dollar store, bought Nutella, bro tried to do the cat walk, told me I should try bc I "have te hips for it" I didn't, walked to the party, no one was barely their, we sat.. And sat.. And sat.. I went to go find the bday girl, have her my present, and went to sit.. Again.. It was boring... The party, I only liked it bc I was with my gf <3 she lent me her bracelet for the time I was goin to be in RI, I was sooooooo happy, I didn't know what to do haha, I so full of excitement, so I just have her a hug >w< she took a photo of us and I got even more happy haha, she had to go leave bc it was her stepdads bday today, I didn't know until she told me when we went to Jamaica , I'm sorry, I didn't know,  I walked her to the bus stop, gave her a hug, and another hug, I walked back to the party, and I was lonely as fuge...  Soon, everyone started to dance and stuff... I was just their... Still lonely.. I tried to go talk to someone but they shove me away..... I got bit by something... By a bug and it hurts... It was hard to text bc their was low signal, so it took FOREVER for the text messages to be sent, .. I walked to the front and just stayed their... Being my lonesome self haha.. My personal human diary saw me and walked up to me, he asked me what I was doin here and I jut have him a shrug, he started to talk to me, I can tell he was .. Sad? Or something, I didn't know why, I knew he was, I can see it.. And it just makes me sad to know that he doesn't trust me.. I want him to talk to me lol, I can tell that he's bottling it up, and it's hurting him (? ) I just want to help him, he helped me SOO many times and I wanna help him to, the reason his nickname is personal human diary is bc I tell him stuff, secrecy Stuf that I never told anyone before, he's a nice friend, a good friend, and I can see that our group is becoming more distant, out group had my personal human diary, my bro, Sam I Am where's my green eggs and ham, me, tom-tom(but he.. He's not in the group anymore, he stoped taking the bus with us and .. Stoped talking to us, but he comes sometimes , rarely) and M. (Personal human diary's gf) . We webt our separate ways after I started having kickboxing lessons... :( I ditched them on the days where I don't have lessons for my ex... UGH!! I suck, I regret it, I miss my friends lol, I do... So I told him that he can talk to me and he told me... But he didn't tell me much bc my mum came and picked up... I told him he can just text me anytime and we should hang out more, I don't know what he said, he didn't really say anything.. .. So my mum stoped us off my Lola's house, she took some pics of us before we went inside. Soon my mumum left. I got bored and started to take some pics lol, I also played with my har, doing some weird hair style, I made a vid on Instagram of me making weird funny faces lol, I WAS BORED!!!!!!  Then my cousins parents faced time them telling them that they cousin pick them up on Wednesday and that they were just going to pick then up on Friday, they cried and cried and they said they'll pick them up on Sunday.. Thick was the next day... I told my gf and idk what she said, I don't remember what happened after.. I just remember going to sleep, and having to keep waking up bc I had to pee, I remeber I had a hard time buttoning up my shorts so I just left it like that haha.. So it's the next day, my Lola and my cousins kept waking me up to eat, but I DON'T. WANT. TO. EAT! But I still did anyways, I took a shower.. I had a fight with my bro, he hurt me pretty bad but I kinda hurt him more.. I'm sorry, I got his blood on my short, and .. That's it I remember, they came to pick us up, went to my house, took my back, MY BAG WAS HEAVY!!!!!!!!!! As FUGE!!! Haha but I suck it up and just carried it. I was falling asleep In the car, and I didn't wake up until my gf texted my back, so I kinda did that thig where I sleep and text at the same time, we went to McDonald to eat, I don't like McDonald so I didn't eat, we went back to the car, we got to RI, did stuff, .. Hmm... Watched the croods, ate!! Finally, but it was noodles, I had a banana after, finish watching, watched bicentennial man, had ice cream, finished eating it, they asked about my bf, told them he broke up with me, told ten I had a gf now, they was shocked, they started to talk about how back in the day it was frowned upon, and yeah, went to sleep,
As you can see, I gradually got tired and lazy explaining each day, got especially tired on explaining Sunday, so it wasn't explained thourooughtly ... ... Maybe I will or maybe I won't explain , morning now,

Sleepy update time... I guess

Fuge... Don't remeber the last time I updated lol... I don't know what I talked about... ... Anyways so yesterday .. But yesterday would be Sunday since today is Monday but to me it downst feel like it bc I didn't sleep yet and Stuf... Okay, so Saturday, I went to a party haha whoo-hoo! It was....... Fun.. Sure, lets go with that LOL! I only liked it bc my girlfriend came <3 >\\\< she let me borrow her bracelet for the time being I was going to be gone for.. It was suppose to be one week but I got trapped into staying for two weeks... So, before the party I stayed up all night drawing her a last minute present lol, she's  crazy for Nutella so it was based on Nutella, also got her Nutella ( her as in the birthday girl just FYI) Friday was...eh... Got moody and was mean to my Lola x'( first time I was mean to her.... I feel soooooo bad, bc she's nothing but nice to everyone. Thursday... Went to the movie theater and watched monster university, it was pretty good. The night on Wednesday and the morning of Thursday, I texted to my friend nonstop lol, it was pretty fun.. I found out that the night brings the is you out lol, I guess that's why people like to PARTEY at night lol I don't know, I don't know... Went to go pick up my bro at school and went to meet up with my gf. My cousins met her and also my mum. ... I heard my mum was giving her the "look" LOL IDK but I can guess she did... I guess... I don't know... The little one has a good memory skill lol o is very obsevent, in which I wish I was really good at lol. She said "she had messy hair and was wearing a blue shirt" lol do after that, I went over to her place and ended up staying their for the day, we were suppose to go shopping but she got tired and didn't want to out, it was understand able, the ag thingy program sounds tiresome haha... So.. I'm at RI right now... I miss her sooooooooooooooo much :'( lol, won't be able to see her till two weeks from now, but theirs always VC... It's a substitute, but I prefere to meet her in person lol. The firs thing I wanna do when I get back to NY is go see her and give her a hug lol, I like hugs... Funny how I disliked hugs in middle school... Hahahaha, I like her bracelet. Oh gosh! Okay, so like, she too a pic of us together, and I was all happy (in the inside but not sure if it was noticble on the outside) but she had to go and delete it... :( it's the first pic with us LOL... I'm needy.... Shhhhh~ haha THROAT. STILL. HURTS!!! Ugh! So this morning me And my bro got into a fight... He's pretty strong... Always had been... That's why I get scared of hi when he's serious lol, his kicks and pushes and freaking Scratches hurts, ... Got his blood on my WHITE! shorts ugh! Lol I kinda hurt him bad too but that's only bc he wasn't serious when we firs started to fight... I feel bad ... I hurt him bad too...... I'm tired... I SHOULD BE SLEEEEEEEEEPING!!!!!! .... Okay, that's it for now, lol I'm tired, can't think anymore, so, good night guy...(s)...ish.... Idk...