Why do I have to be like this?

had a horrible night/morning?.. i dont know... i was so scared last night that i coudnt sleep till around 12, and then something woke me up at around 5... sometimes i get a feeling, a feeling where im scared.. but i dont know what im scared of... i dont know :p...................... so i basically just watched Pretty Little Liars today. Took a walk with NaNa today. I had fun. It was funny, hot, sweaty, and fun. Having that talk with her. I felt sumwat relive. To finally tell someone. I know i have many people to talk to, .. but its just that i.. dont really trust them that much. .. I want to tell Giraffe, but it just feels like.. im bothering him.. and its kinda stupid... but.. i dont know... its just bothering me for quite some time..... i guess this was the reason on why i think of ........ bad thoughts, look down on, i dont know... ..... BLEHHHHH!!!! xP ...................................................... so mom came home with a whole lot of junk food, why is it that she always brings the kind of food that im craving for at the wrong time?, ... so i told her that sometimes when i talk to her, it feels like she deosnt want to talk to me, pushes me away, and said that its because theirs alot of people wanting to talk to her? shes busy? but wutever, i get it, i understand.. but she could have at least tell me that instead of pushing me away, that just hurts the most.......
why is it that everytime someone ask me if im okay, i just start to... cry.... .............. all i have to say is that i love music....................